Tag: Reclaiming Conversation

The Tyranny of Time

Although it seems likely that losing track of the clock is not one of the major elements of enjoyment, freedom from the tyranny of time does add to the exhilaration we feel during a state of complete involvement.

  • Mihaly Czikszentmihalyl, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience

Right now I am keeping many plates spinning. There are multiple writing projects on the docket, a new job to prepare for that includes a move to a new town, and a family that deserves my attention. In addition, I enjoy all of my experiences online with others, learning together. Yet something has to give. Time is not standing still.

That is why I am taking a break from blogging, Facebook, and the 24/7 news cycle in August. It is necessary to pare down our tasks at times to focus on what is essential. Some friends of mine, Tammy Mulligan and Clare Landrigan, are doing the same thing with their blog Perspectives. Well known artists and creatives also take breaks from the Internet. John Green, author of The Fault in Our Stars, is going on a tech sabbatical. He shared this video as a rationale, titled The Distraction Economy:

If you would rather read about The Distraction Economy, check out this article by Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic for The Guardian. I also highly recommend Stop Googling. Let’s Talk. by Sherry Turkle for the New York Times.

When information is bountiful, attention is limited and precious.

– Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic

For longer fare on the topic of focus and attention, I wasn’t disappointed by reading Hamlet’s Blackberry by William Powers and Reclaiming Conversation, also by Turkle.

As I ween down my distractions, I have made a point of learning more about developing routines for my writing. The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg and The Writer’s Guide to Persistance by Jordan Rosenfeld have been helpful guides. With regard to my role as a principal, The Together Leader by Maia Heyck-Merlin and Focus: Elevating the Essentials to Radically Improve Student Learning by Mike Schmoker look promising upon first glance.

Also important is the environment in which I write, work, and live. For instance, we converted our four seasons room into a device-free zone (at least for me and the cats). William Powers would refer to this as a “Walden Zone”, after Thoreau’s famed location:

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As my position picks up in our new location, I won’t be able to work remotely as much. I discovered a cabin with no wireless or television through a community connection for a few temporary stays until we officially move in. I look forward to the solitude, although I will miss my family. Hopefully by shedding some connections in my life in August, I will increase my involvement, effectiveness and enjoyment in the tasks at hand.

 

 

Being Connected is Not the Same as Connectedness #CEM15 #edtechchat

This past weekend, my family and I headed south to visit family in Illinois. This is where I’m originally from, and most of my family members still reside there. The highlight of our trip, besides the “really awesome” pool our two kids enjoyed at a hotel in Rockford, was the Halloween party hosted by my aunt and uncle in Seneca.

12182435_10156289603010595_3597715382384628058_oCell phone service was very limited. It was just as well. Everyone who was there I rarely got a chance to see in person. We spent time with each other next to the night fire, sharing our news and our personal highlights. More than once, a relative referenced a picture and/or comment one of us made on Facebook (usually about our kids). We shared a laugh about the event that we would not have known without social media. These connections served to bring us closer together.

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Online interactions are a mere shadow compared to the connectedness we experience when we physically come together as people. It’s not always easy, especially for introverts such as myself. But it doesn’t mean I should avoid it. Contrast this with my first day back at school: I started the week by leafing through the latest issue of EdTech: Focus on K-12 magazine. In one of the front pages is a highlight of tweets reposted within a section titled “Connectedness”. Here is a sampling I found, collected from a recent “#SatchatOC” chat:

How should we be defining connectedness? Many of us view this concept through the lens of social media and online networks. Do we prioritize our digital connections over the those we are in close proximity to every day? Can we be simply connected and still experience a feeling of connectedness?

My preferred definition of “connectedness” within the education profession comes from Parker J. Palmer, in his classic resource The Courage to Teach: Exploring the Inner Landscape of a Teacher’s Life (Jossey-Bass, 1998, 2007). Palmer defines connectedness as the ability of teachers “to weave a complex web of connections among themselves, their subjects, and their students so that students can learn to weave a world for themselves” (pg. 11). This web extends beyond our online connections.

While there is no question about the role of social media in education, we may view these digital networks as the main way for educators to pursue new knowledge and skills. Unfortunately, this mindset might lead to further distancing ourselves from the possible relationships right in front of us: Our colleagues in neighboring classrooms, departments, and schools. Have we successfully mined the possibilities that these potential face-to-face interactions will provide? My guess is no.

In her new book Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age (Penguin, 2015), MIT scientist Sherry Turkle documents studies describing the negative effects of keeping a largely online network of human connections:

  • The mere presence of a phone changes what people talk about, for fear of being interrupted by a text message or notification. (21)
  • Online messaging leads to less emotional connections compared to in-person conversations. (23)
  • People who use social media the most have more difficulty reading human emotions, including their own, when compared to those not as connected. (25)
  • For young people, online life is associated with a loss of empathy and a diminished capacity for self-reflection. (41)
  • People don’t like posting things online that their followers won’t agree with – everyone wants to be liked. (50)

This concerns me. What do we unknowingly give up when we add on and delve more deeply into online connections? Do we reduce our capacity for connectedness in our efforts to become “more connected”? I’ve attempted to counter these tendencies in my own role as a school principal. For the last two days, teachers have come together in face-to-face conversations regarding professional goals for the school year. When I listened to their ideas, I put aside my digital tools and gave them my full attention. Full disclosure: My phone was still present. :-/ Still, as I offered suggestions, I paid attention to how they responded physically, such as facial expressions and their eyes, as well as what they had to say. These verbal and nonverbal cues guided our conversation.

One of the best feelings is knowing that you are being listened to. It’s hard to articulate, but you know it when it happens. You feel appreciated, acknowledged, and supported. There are certainly situations where online connections are the best option. Usually it is in the absence of in-person conversations. But when the opportunity for a real conversation presents itself, is it a priority or merely a formality?

My mom and me
My mom and me by the campfire at the Halloween party

Can Conversation Really Happen in the 21st Century? First Reflections on “Reclaiming Conversation” by Sherry Turkle

So, my argument is not anti-technology. It’s pro-conversation. -Sherry Turkle

I was at a restaurant this evening, working on final revisions for my upcoming book while waiting for take out, as I noticed a group of five seniors nearby. They were just finishing up dinner, and now sat around their table, chatting. One of them, a woman, started sharing a story about a car accident she had that apparently wasn’t her fault. “The brakes didn’t work.” One of her friends asked her if she contacted the automobile manufacturer. “No, my insurance company didn’t want me to bother. They just wrote a check for the repairs.”

This story, more elaborate than what I share here, continued on with much laughter and more questions. All eyes and ears were on the speaker. There was not one smartphone sitting on the table. They concluded their evening with a round of hugs and making informal plans for their next chance to meet. “That story is so good, I bet someone would pay you to tell it!” remarked one of the friends. “We’ll have to just keep on talking over the phone until we can meet again,” lamented another.

This observation of a conversation could be described as normal. Except it is not. What seems to be normal now is a family or a group at a restaurant or the kitchen table, with a fork in one hand and a mobile device in the other. Conversations can never run deep if people’s attentions are divided between who they are with and who they are not.

9781594205552_ReclaimingConversation_JKF.inddThis is the topic of the new book Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age by Sherry Turkle (Penguin, 2015). Her previous contributions, such as Life on a Screen and Alone Together, identified both the benefits and the drawbacks of our connections online. In her newest entry, Turkle tackles the challenges of always being “on” and offers advice for making ourselves more present for those most important to us.

 

These days, we want to be with each other but also elsewhere, connected to wherever else we want to be, because what we value most is control over where we put our attention. Our manners have evolved to accommodate our new priorities. (pg. 19)

The last sentence should really give us pause (it did for me). Technology’s pull is influencing how we act as people and social beings. We thrive on connections, yet have a hard time prioritizing the most important ones. I’m as guilty as anyone. I’ll check my social media notifications a dozen times a day, even while I am writing. It gets to the point where I actually turn off the wireless while writing, or leaving my smartphone at home when running errands.

This isn’t happening strictly in public/social settings. Schools are also experiencing a sense of dividedness regarding attention. Students’ smartphones being confiscated because they went off during class is almost becoming a rite of passage. I can attest: As a former assistant principal, I had one drawer in my desk designated for holding these devices until parents came to school to pick them up. Teachers often see smartphones as distractions, and not always because they are “trying to teach”.

In the classroom, conversations carry more than details of a subject; teachers are there to help students learn how to ask questions and be dissatisfied with easy answers. More than this, conversations with a good teacher communicate that learning isn’t all about the answers. It’s about what the answers mean. (8)

So why does this fairly new phenomena occur? One reason is when someone receives a notification or a message on their phone, it triggers the reward center in their brains. That’s why people leave their phones out in sight. However, as Turkle notes, studies show that the mere presence of a phone on the table changes what people talk about (21). Others worry that their conversations might get interrupted, so they keep discussions at the surface level. Also, dealing with people means giving up control of the conversation and what we might want to say. “Human relationships are rich, messy, and demanding” (21).

As I read on in Reclaiming Conversation, I hope to gain new knowledge in how to navigate my own connected life a little better, as well as to guide my kids and those that I learn with regularly. By the way, no one has it figured out. Not even the five seniors at the restaurant. As they were leaving, one of them wanted to show her friends a funny commercial she watched on television. She pulled out her smartphone while standing at the front doors of the restaurant, opened YouTube, and played the commercial on her screen with two friends – while others were seated at tables. We all have something to learn.